What happened to Hollywood?
More specifically, what has happened to Steven Spielberg?
When I was fourteen-years-old I was shocked right out of my seat by a character in a feature film. Millions of frightened movie goers were left clinging to twinkle lights high above cushy tilt-back reclining chairs that were bolted to the theater floor, folks hanging by a suspenseful thread, all because of a mechanical movie creation named Bruce. Of course, Bruce was the great white shark that scared audiences half to death all over the world in the film Jaws way back in 1975.
Can you imagine being afraid of a hunk of plastic as big as a car – named Bruce?
I can.
Jaws is one of my all time favorite films. Considering I spent about three weeks every summer when I was a kid, doing whatever it is kids do while on vacation with their parents, on Miami Beach, I clearly remember how that particular monster of the imaginary deep created a real stir on beaches everywhere. Folks were going bonkers over a movie shark. It was a dose of simulated reality cleverly blended with one director’s ability to scare the pants off most folks.
Martha’s Vineyard had nothing on Florida beaches after Jaws hit the big screen. One bright and sunny day I recall hundreds of people fleeing the water in a panic (like a scene out of the movie), and still hundreds more rushing the beach to see what the commotion was all about, when a big ol’ sea manatee harmlessly made its way past our hotel about fifty yards out to sea. A manatee – probably the sea’s most docile creature – freaked everybody out.
That was the magic of a “scary movie” back in the days when movies could actually scare you. Nowadays the effects used in 1975 would be considered old-fashioned, but effects cannot replace good direction and good acting. Special effects lose their effect by the time you get home. The art of the scare is in the hands of the director. My favorite scene from Jaws is a great example of that:
“Brody! Get on the chum line!” Bellowed Quint.
“Let Hooper take a turn.” Brody said.
“Hooper drives the boat, Chief.” Insisted Quint in a deliberate voice.
Brody says with a smirk, “Let him come down here and chum some of this shit…”
At the very moment we see Bruce for the first time, jaws gaping open, as he narrowly misses gobbling-up Brody spooning chum at the transom.
Brody backs into the cabin with a look of pure terror on his face and says to Quint with a shaky voice, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
Classic! A Spielberg masterpiece and by today’s standards probably a very inexpensive film to make.
I saw a trailer this week for a new film coming out this summer along the same lines as Jaws. In fact, in places, it looks unmistakably like the original. Probably one of Hollywood’s “updated” versions? Probably a bomb. It looks like a video game. In spite of the obviously ripped-off scenes from the old, how much you want to bet the “new and improved” won’t be anywhere near as scary.
In the 1980’s Indiana Jones was all the rage. Indy’s search for the Lost Ark mesmerized audiences through three outstanding plots with amazing action sequences and dazzling special effects. Again, these may not live up to today’s computer generated standards, but the computer age that has made special effects better-and-better, so too has made film scripts unbearably worse.
Good stories with heroes like Indiana Jones seem to have evaporated into thin air. Acting legends just got old, or passed-away. We’ve been left with lots of computer generated explosions, caused by ugly and inhuman computer generated creatures.
Even the “creatures” are different. They don’t seem to have characteristics that we can relate to any more. They’re just “things” that must be killed in order for the “star” to proceed to the next movie. That’s kind of how video games work, isn’t it?
Can you remember a movie about one particular alien that was cute and entertaining? Remember ET: the Extra Terrestrial?
The film ET may have been Steven Spielberg’s finest hour. In my opinion, one of his best. The story was amazing. Another classic! The world was in love with ET and his legend still remains one of the greatest films of all time.
What about the “scary” movie?
Poltergeist may have been the scariest movie of all. It certainly struck fear into audiences everywhere and it was a thrill a minute sending many a popcorn bucket flying through the air with suspense. I almost got beat up for that.
The scene of JoBeth Williams in the slop with a skeleton still sends chills up and down my spine. It was yet another cheap thrill that worked very well.
Looks like oatmeal to me! What do you think? Maybe the same stuff they used to simulate quick sand in those old movies when the stars got lost in the jungle.
How much could it have cost the studio to make this scene in Poltergeist anyway? A tub full of tepid water and a thousand pounds of Quaker Oats. But it worked. It was incredible and very scary.
Where have all the writers gone?
I cannot exactly say when movies turned into spectacles with zero plot. For me, it’s just as well I cannot pin-down a precise moment in time. All I know is that one day I was being entertained and the next I was wondering where it all went wrong. How can they do this to us? It’s brutal, unbearable at times.
Now there have certainly been some notable exceptions to my “When Good Directors Go Bad” theory. A talent like Steven Spielberg, for example, just doesn’t run out of ideas over night. Does he?
Could the entire swamp that is Hollywood have dried-up?
No! Of course not. In the 1990’s through the early part of this Century Spielberg made some classic films: the Jurassic Park trilogy are among my favorites. Then there were seriously cool dramatic efforts like Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan.
The opening three-minute sequence of Saving Private Ryan is arguably the most intense war footage ever created. I watched a documentary about the making of SPR – they ran real WWII Omaha Beach footage next to Spielberg’s created film and it looked exactly the same. Of course, the quality was much better in the Hollywood version, but identical nonetheless. The painstaking attention to detail was true art.
But art became farther and fewer in between. Actors became celebrities instead. Writers were suddenly afraid to test the water of new ideas. Film making turned into a contest to see who could create the biggest spectacle, with the “hottest” celebrity name, to put as many butts as possible into the theater seats.
It had come full circle. They were trying to force you into the very seat they used to try to scare you out of. Sad!
Thank God for Harry Potter. That’s all I’ve got to say.
Fast forward to 2011. Steven Spielberg is still at it, but what is it?
I have to admit, I’m not impressed by Hollywood’s efforts the last fifteen years or so, but today I went to go see Spielberg’s latest and greatest, Cowboys and Aliens. Greatest? I don’t think so! Maybe “greatest” isn’t the best choice of words. Actually, I think Steven may be losing his touch?
First let me say for the record that the only good thing about this film is Olivia Wilde. I’m not gonna say why I think this way, but I’m sure you can figure it out on your own. Let me just say that she is very easy on the eyes. (She’s a decent actress too, by the way.)
That being said, this film was a real turkey. And I’m not kidding either. It was a huge, ten-winged, alien turkey.
Why is Steven Spielberg suddenly obsessed with aliens?
Not just any old alien will do either. It seems he’s got an unnatural fear of aliens who come to Earth and bury themselves in the ground – until the moment of attack – to emerge from their burrow in massive vessels that, if you ask me, look a lot like great big beer kegs. I will accept giant coffee cans as an answer, as well.
In his film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Spielberg’s “kingdom” was a beer keg. Now he’s gone and done it again in Cowboys and Aliens.
Cowboys and Aliens? What the…?
Did you ever have one of those moments when you knew you spotted a dumb idea the moment you saw it?
Yeah! Me too.
Daniel Craig is arguably the worst actor since Sylvester Stalone, but the ladies think he looks great with his shirt off. Apparently six-pack abs are an acceptable substitute for talent? Craig has little of it that I can see (with a single blank expression to punctuate the drab) and he fits perfectly into a long line of very successful leading men who cannot act worth a lick: Sly, Arnold Schwartzeneger, Steven Segal, Keanu Reeves, and the list goes on and on and on forever.
Sometimes surrounding a lousy actor with a good supporting cast helps, but not in the case of Cowboys and Aliens, however. There was a fair lineup behind Craig that’s for sure. It included the likes of Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, and Keith Carradine, but the two-time 007 doesn’t live-up to all the hype. He’s got one speed – dull – and he navigates the entire film with it.
Harrison Ford wasn’t a bore in Cowboys and Aliens. He was downright pitiful. His character is a weenie who spends two hours proving anyone questioning Ford’s acting abilities after having aged a bit, right on the money.
The film sets us up with huge expectations of Ford’s dramatic entrance. This guy is gonna be a bad dude, I kept thinking, as Ford’s on-screen son kept warning the town of his immanent arrival. But when he does arrive – WEENIE!!!
I’m a HUGE fan of Harrison Ford’s; wish he would have passed on this film. I wish I had passed on it too!
You’re probably thinking right now that I don’t like westerns, horror films, or sci-fi? Not true! In fact, they are my top three genres – in that order. Two of my favorite actors – Clint Eastwood and Vincent Price – should prove the point. Nobody will ever do a cowboy right ever again after Eastwood’s cold, ruthless eyes burned holes in the big screen. Clint’s character, the no-name cowboy that originated in the best western ever, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, won’t ever be matched. Perfection!
I like westerns. I just don’t like this western. (Or was it sci-fi… horror? Oh, I don’t know?)
One thing’s for sure, I won’t be going back in a week to see Cowboys and Aliens again, like I did Harry Potter 7.2. I probably won’t see it another seventy-five times once it hits TV and DVD format either, as I have done with most of Eastwood’s films. Just a hunch.
I love a good western. I said good, didn’t I? High Noon, True Grit (the John Wayne version), My Darlin’ Clementine, The Spaghetti Westerns (with Clint), Unforgiven – my wild west sensibilities stretch a few generations of film, as does my love for horror flicks and science fiction: Dracula, Frankenstein, Murders in the Rue Morgue, House of Wax, Independence Day, Men in Black, Ghostbusters, Star Wars, Star Trek, and the list goes on and on and on.
It’s cliché and I’ll probably be accused of being old after I say it, but I’m gonna say it anyway: they don’t make ’em like that any more!
Okay! Once in a while they do. (See my post on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows II)
One thing is certain, after the new shark attack film is out in theaters next month and folks have a chance to take it all in, don’t expect any panic at the beaches. My guess is that the new Jaws won’t have people swarming theaters, or fleeing beaches, like the old Jaws did. No matter how good the special effects are, they won’t “sell the sizzle” as it were, like Robert Shaw did so long ago, with the simple act of raking his nails across a chalk board.
I still cringe when I watch that scene, but in a good way. Cowboys and Aliens makes me cringe too! But only because I had to spend six bucks to get into the theater.
My advice: wait until it hits HBO!
As for Steven Spielberg, I always have high hopes. I saw a trailer for The War Horse – due out this Christmas. Looks like he may reclaim his throne after all. At least he will try.