Soar High On Wings Like Eagles

I had about a dozen hot wings tonight for dinner. Buffalo hot wings. I think they call them “Buffalo Wings” because they have their origin in the city of Buffalo. I could be wrong about that?

Nevertheless, I’m here to tell you that eating chicken wings is quite popular nowadays. In fact, It’s hard to drive down the street without finding at least three wing places that specialize in this simple yet desirable fare. You’ve got Wing Stop, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Hooters atop the long list of wing places, but there are many more, this I will assure you.

Did you know that Burger King now sells hot wings? I don’t know about you, but I’m really not all that impressed by BK’s burgers, and that’s their specialty. It says so right on the building! I’m certainly not brave enough to sample the stuff they aren’t noted for – like chicken, for example.

Speaking of chicken, every chicken place (just about) that specializes in chicken, has got their signature version of hot wings. Of course, not to be left out in the cold, Church’s has a variety of flavors of wings and sauces. I tried Church’s traditional hot wings followed by their teriyaki and was thinking that if these chicken joint wings are any indication of how bad a fast food burger joint’s wings might be, then I will avoid the King’s wings at all cost.

The Asian buffet place serves “Buffalo” wings too. Go figure!

I did a search online and found some amusing artist interpretations of hot wings. Some I’ll post here for a bit of comic relief.

It’s all so bizarre this American obsession with hot BBQ style chicken wings. It reminds me of a t-shirt I bought when I was seventeen years old, while on vacation with my family on Miami Beach.

I found the shirt whilst perusing the many selections at one of the million gift shops on the Collins Avenue strip. You know, every shop sells sea shell necklaces, hermit crab snow globes, expensive cheap jewelry, and t-shirts with everything you can think of printed on the front (and sometimes the back too), from your favorite rock band to clever sayings like, “My Mom & Dad went to Miami Beach and all I got was a lousy t-shirt.”

Maybe you should be thankful that you got a t-shirt, if you’re sour enough to complain about it?

Anyway, I was looking over the designs when I spotted the perfect shirt. The cartoon printed on the front was of the inside of a restaurant. Two people were sitting at a table eating. There was a kitchen door and a sign that read, “Today’s Special: Frogs’ Legs.” Coming out of the kitchen were a bunch of legless frogs in wheel chairs and on crutches. (I found the French version still online.)

It was truly tasteless. I get it! But it was funny to a seventeen year old. Hey, what did I know about being sensitive back then? The shirt drove my Mother crazy and I believe very strongly to this day, that had I not slept with the shirt under my pillow from the moment of purchase, my Dad would have burned the darn thing.

Why am I suddenly reminded of that t-shirt? Well, I often wondered what they did with all those poor legless frogs after so many restaurants served their daily special of frogs’ legs? Granted folks weren’t eating frogs’ legs as if they were an endangered species, but there were enough chowing-down to make you wonder.

Of course, we all know what they do with the rest of the chicken, but it’s fun to speculate and create – even if it’s not a real possibility. Although I do know of at least one major food store chain that sells very cheap deli fried chicken, from chickens that were just about to reach their expiration date over on the meat counter and (barely) got saved by the deep fry – at least I hope they were saved before they expired?

Nah! They were.

All jokes aside, I love hot wings. Heck, I just love wings. And I did so long before it was cool to like wings.

You see, back when I was a kid (I won’t go into that in too much detail, but let’s just say gas was 35-cents a gallon and milk was about the same and I was maybe ten years old), a chicken wing was a cast-away part. Nobody, I mean nobody, ate those little suckers. They were dry, often burnt, and you could barely get any meat off the darn skinny things. I loved ’em!

Makes you wonder how they get ’em so meaty these days though? I’m sure it’s the corn feed and doesn’t have anything to do with radiation.

C’mon now! I’m just kidding.

I did eat them every time we made a chicken for dinner. I had first dibs on both wings.

Dad would say, “One of these days you’re gonna fly away!”

You know, I’ve been waiting for it.

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Elaine started a restaurant with her former boss called, “Top O’ the Muffin To Ya!” The argument they had over using the exclamation point (funny) and how their unique idea of serving only muffin tops (because nobody eats muffin stumps) was priceless. But they had to dispose of the stumps, right? The garbage dump rejected the muffin stumps and when they started leaving them at the homeless shelter, the lady who ran the place yelled at them saying, “Why don’t you bring-over some chicken skins and lobster shells while you’re at it?!”

Back in the day – my day – you couldn’t even buy chicken wings at the grocery store (Uh, except for the ones that came attached to the chicken). Somewhere along the line I can remember stores selling bags of frozen wings for next to nothing. But this is about the time I started to wonder where the surplus of wings was coming from? Always thinkin’ I am!

By the time I reached my mid-thirties everyone was riding on board the hot wings bandwagon. Kids, Moms and Dads, firemen, teachers, plumbers… everyone was licking red sauce off their finger nails with delight. Okay! Maybe not plumbers.

What used to be tossed into the trash without a second thought, unless I happened to be over for dinner, now costs about five bucks a pound and is the most expensive per pound part of the chicken, bar none. Hard to believe!

Haste does indeed make waste, but a good idea is a good idea is a good idea – even if it takes fifty some odd years to refine it. I’m just glad they saw it coming and didn’t genetically alter chickens to hatch without wings altogether. What kind of disaster would that have been – all that celery rotting and ranch dressing down the drain.

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But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (New Living Translation)